Ngozi Oluoh wrote this:
“…I married my hubby cause I loved him, he is homely, can do house chores, can take care of kids, so I thought this man will be great later in life, even if he isn’t doing so well now, but I tell you, this is my 10 years of marriage and we are still living in a 1 bedroom flat, haven’t seen him work with his certificate, he tries doing one or two things to keep up with the home but we so not have peace regularly, there is always problem.
Won’t start stating what I do in the family, I take care of myself solely. My parents and siblings are abused everyday by my hubby, but I have to stay cause I’m a Nigerian.
So if you have an opportunity of getting married to a man who is doing well, and you know you can live with him, then go for it.
Mehn I know what I go through everyday.
Yesterday I was just asked by my hubby to bring our marriage certificate where he can be seeing it, I laughed because what investment does he have that I want to take with the help of the certificate. Smh
Steve Chike wrote:
“…But seeing some small girls with no prospect, wey never go anywhere beyond their village, and are still struggling to get first degree, (some are yet to get WAEC), living in the heart of poverty capital of the world, joining the “I’ll not marry 50k guy” chorus is quite funny.
I don’t begrudge them, people have the right to dream dreams, even funny ones.
A few might get lucky and hit the jackpot, but the cold reality is that over 88 million Nigerians live in EXTREME poverty and ALL of them will still get married. There is a huge gap between the dreams we profess on social media and the reality on ground.”
Damilola Keke wrote:
” Mr James that earns 40k while his wife does business has a land and is building a house in Ikorodu (This is not fiction, man works at my office). Meanwhile some people who earn 300k and above are in debt and have no investment whatsoever. Please let’s leave this salary talk abeg.”
Niniola Achurefe wrote:
“…I have a maid that her husband earns less than 50k and all their four kids are in public school but he does monthly contribution of 20k collects 240k every year from the contribution, now he owns his own house. What matters is the blessing of God.”
Mickie Igwe wrote:
” So all the people who want to marry for love are crazy?
Next time when anyone tells they are marrying because of love, just know she’s high on something, especially if she’s not contributing anything.”
Ini Imah wrote:
“…There are people who earn 35,000 and they’re living happily as a family.
There’s something called, “living within your means.”
There are couples who aren’t working but they’re still surviving.
N50,000 is a very big amount to survive with in one month.
The question is, “what is on your expenditure list?”
Onyinyechi Udeolisa wrote:
” Nonsense and 50k…
Aunty, how much are you earning first?
Men are not to be lived off on, they are not financial escape .
Make sure you are earning enough (to your supposed standard) before you start placing target.
You think those of us that are not married are fools abi? As we are like this, we can’t even marry ourselves financially.”
Nkechi Bianze wrote:
“…no miracle on earth …will make me marry a man who earns less than N500K. I also can’t marry a man who can’t afford at least a 2-bedroom apartment/house.
Marrying a rich man doesn’t guarantee happiness. There’s no study that has shown that poor men make better husbands.”
Precious Anagwu wrote:
If you marry and choose to cut off your womb for no child to enter, fine. You can have your 50k and drink your garri in peace.
Just get a one room cos that money will just be for house rent.
Once there is a decision to have babies 😊😊😊😊 let me laugh first.
If your little one come out as premature, one out of the many drugs the baby will be on cost 95,000 naira. That is almost your two months salary. Will you pause the baby and wait for two months.
That does not mean the baby will take only one. He might take more than two before he gets out of the incubator and that will be 285,000 naira.
Before we start talking about the hospital bill that will accumulate for the period of two or three months your baby stayed in the incubator.
Let me not talk of feeding, pampers and other things.
Abeg ooo, money is essential in marriage
I am a midwife. I will tell you how much antenatal cost, also hospital bill for delivery is 97k for the lowest and for safe delivery.
Some go for 150k 300k 500k
If it was CS, then the money will increase.
When you come home, baby and wife must feed ooo and your wife must take all the necessary antibiotics and drugs after delivery to avoid infection setting in.
Bikokwa, Stop all these 50k stories oooo.
Go and get a skill or side business to avoid frustrations.”
NwaAda Chinwendu wrote:
” I have been in a place where I was so broke I couldn’t afford to buy paracetamol for my son. I’m working my ass off to make sure I can provide everything my son needs. And I will never choose a struggling partner. Being poor brings frustration and misery.
There is no way in hell I will intentionally choose a poor man. As a parent it kills not to be able to afford medical and school fees for your children. Not being able to give them a comfortable life.”
Anuli Juliet wrote:
” Once they become rich tomorrow,they’ll start running after slay queens 😂😂😂and you’ll be stuck with ‘but I suffered with him.'”
Azubuike Chinenye wrote:
“Until you’re financially stable as a woman, don’t go and disturb someone’s son with marriage and become a burden.”
Oduorah Paul wrote:
“…I was earning like 300k when I got married but like 6 months into my marriage, my income began hovering btw 800k and 1m and sometimes 1.2m in a month.
Someone who is earning higher before marriage may have a setback later or even lose his job. A man who has a competitive mind, shame and prudence can attain any height in life.”
Eze Ucheblair wrote:
” The only thing I can say about all these 50k argumentators is that they are so NEGATIVE. They believe that because you choose not to marry a man who earns just 50k a month, life must be unfair to you. He may die, the money may vanish, his corpse will be stolen, your kids may slap him, bla bla bla bla bla bla and other nonsense blabbing.
Why can’t you all be positive?
What if life favours them? What if they grow higher and higher? What if, what if?
Nope, because you all don’t appreciate other people’s choices in life, then there has to be a lurking disaster somewhere waiting to devour them.
You all keep talking about love and bla bla bla bla but yet you are still in all the single women’s inboxes begging for pussy…. what the actual fuck!
Listen up, financial freedom is the issshhhh
We all need to get it and stop worrying about 50k.
If 50k is okay for you and your descendants, let us be biko. Peace is important. Don’t come here and make anyone feel unsure of themselves. We have different dreams, character build, and visions in life. I know a person that can manage 1k for one month🤣 I also know someone who uses 50k to buy just hair closure.
I hate emotional manipulators.
Make your little money and manage with your wife, no one gives a fuck. Una own na to advise and come on facebook to preach dust. You don’t help nobody, So? What’s the point of this useless discussion?”
Pat Ujchi wrote:
“Before I married my hubby, he was the less buoyant of all my suitors the. One of my suitors wanted to pay my complete MSc fees in the UK, and the other one asked me to stop my UK student work, that he will be paying me £1k monthly
while the other wanted me to finish MSc and become a trophy wife. These palatable offers were all tempting but den I BOLDLY rejected all and chose my hubby cos all I wanted at that time in my life was peace of mind and companionship.
I had already made my MSc fees while working as a student in the UK, and have always been a career woman, wasn’t keen on becoming a housewife cos I love the aura that comes with earning ones own money.
I chose him and we started from zero but today we are jointly hustling together and have lifted ourselves above poverty level as we keep enjoying our lives to the full.
It was my choice to choose peace over wealth and I respect people’s choices of wealth over peace. Whatever that rocks anyone boat.”
King Ifey wrote:
“A man who earns 50k per month shouldn’t look forward to starting a family especially if the wife’s earning power is quite low.
In the case where you as a fiancée to such a man earns above 150k , it shouldn’t deter you from going ahead with marriage plans if you love him. But no, some women would still look at sustaining her family through the man’s salary.
Such to me is patriarchal thinking
What we should look at isn’t the man’s salary , but a combinatory potential of the couple’s earning power.
If as a couple, both of you can raise 200k monthly, it shouldn’t matter who earns 50k between both of you. What matters is that pooling the resources can actually make both of you get what you want.
It take two to tango.
Resources should be pooled. The man shouldn’t suffer because he got married…haba
Daniel Falonipe wrote:
” Really not a big deal, a lot people don’t know what they want.
It’s easy to be objective until one falls in love, and everything else become secondary.”
Zainab Haruna wrote:
“Okay, the people that want 50k marriage, iseee, let it be so for you.
The people that want above 50k marriage, iseee, let it be so for you.
I pray everyone finds what they want.
Stop fighting now, kids!”
Damilola Jonathan wrote:
” I was earning 30k at my first official job. This on average is where every 25-30 yr Nigerian starts. See why it’s insensitive and silly to keep hammering on I want to marry a rich man. When you make such assertions you infer that:
1. Men are free to be rich by any means, even illegal ones. 2. You can marry a criminal.
- Or you’d rather wait till they are old enough to earn more than that.
You are a gold digger, with no plans to make money and contribute to your marriage financially.
You have a way of fixing this African or Nigerian reality you are not telling us about.
Some young guys now earn way more than that monthly but are still too scared to try marrying people who are looking for retirement plan.”
Tommy Aniekeme wrote:
” I don’t have time for nonsense
The people clamoring for that are mostly people who haven’t sweated for money, who haven’t had doors shut at them, who haven’t heard so many NOs they think a yes is impossible
If a man is earning 50k legally and has potentials and capacity to earn more with the right kind of motivation, why won’t you marry him as a lady?
Some people are mad they just don’t know it.”
Okpaleke Francis wrote:
“…I have learnt not to calculate my future based on the mathematical approximations of the present for indeed, time changes everything.”
Precious Presh wrote:
“… society pushed the money narrative too far… without money… you are nothing…
The love of money and comfort is nowhere near what it was a few decades ago…. hence…. unrealistic expectations….
Capitalism and consumerism at it’s finest…. it won’t get better anytime soon….. until a recession sets in and we begin to re evaluate our standards as regards everything.”
Chike Delic Obi wrote:
“If you make a permanent decision like marriage based on temporary things like salary, job, car etc, SORRY!
Don’t worry, your eye go eventually clear. Go and ask EVERY single married person. Life will throw you Coffee of all kinds. Your spouse can lose their high paying job and not find another one soon, that car may burn, the industry your partner makes money from may be overtaken by another, sickness may strike, businesses fail, an incapacitating accident may happen. What will you do then? Leave?
If you can’t love and marry someone at their very worst, broke, no make up, sick, in a bad mood, no sex, jobless, etc ABEG think am again o. I know I can’t tell you what to do and I know there’s hunger in the land but try to judge your partner by more than how much they earn at the time you meet them.
Judge them by their values, kindness, vision, how much faith they have in themselves and how hard they’re working on their goals. Don’t miss GOLD while pursuing glitter.”
My name is David Francis and the nature of my engagements include:
Philosophy (University of Jos, Nigeria); Research Consultant (St. Albert’s Institute, Fayit-Fadan, Kaduna, Nigeria); Editor (Sapientia African Leadership Formation Programme, e. V Address: Badenstedter Street, 99 30453, Hannover, Germany); Editor (African Home Reintegration, Spinnereistrasse 1A 30449, Hannover, Germany); Literature (S. E. M. S. Nassarawa State, Nigeria); Former Associate Editor, “Periscope Magazine,” Abuja and Columnist, “Seekers Delight Magazine,” Kaduna.
I simply try to question the ‘happy darkness’ by encouraging more hands to minimize ignorance. Just a dose of knowledge, is enough in training the mind, to conform to nothing except truth. Let’s ride this train together!
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